Pt: "I've been feeling drained lately."
Me: after a few other questions: "Are you constipated?"
Pt: "Oh yes!"
Me: "When was your last bowel movement?"
Pt: "Well the 1st one I had today was at about 7 and then I had another an hour ago."
*bangs head against wall*
Showing posts with label classic quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label classic quotes. Show all posts
Friday, August 13, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
Quote of the Day
Today was interesting. Especially the part where I found out that my team rounds at 4:00AM.
Anywho... Best quote of the day from high risk OB clinic:
Intern: I'm just going to insert the speculum now. (inserts it)
Preggo: (sharply inhales) Woo!!! I hope it doesn't hurt this bad when the baby comes!
At this point the intern, nurse, and I just look at each other and laugh.
Anywho... Best quote of the day from high risk OB clinic:
Intern: I'm just going to insert the speculum now. (inserts it)
Preggo: (sharply inhales) Woo!!! I hope it doesn't hurt this bad when the baby comes!
At this point the intern, nurse, and I just look at each other and laugh.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Things Overheard in the Lounge
Sometimes things can get monotonous on medicine - like writing orders for Joe Veteran's cough syrup and finger sticks, updating the list, etc... and music provides some relief.
Chief Res: "I'm about to put on some music. What do you guys like?"
M3s, M4s: "Oh, we listen to anything"
Czechoslovakian intern: "You got any Russian nasty rap?"
Chief Res: "I'm about to put on some music. What do you guys like?"
M3s, M4s: "Oh, we listen to anything"
Czechoslovakian intern: "You got any Russian nasty rap?"
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Runner's Log
1.5 miles; 286.66 to go
Quotable Quote of the Day - from the VA
Joe Veteran, obese, in wheelchair: That's gonna make you fat, you know...
Me: It's a DIET Coke. Zero calories.
Joe Veteran: Say, when are you girls going to graduate to be nurses?
(We all have on white coats that say School of Medicine)
Me: NEVER.
Austin: We'll be doctors in a year.
Female in elevator: Well, my husband is having surgery today and his surgeon is a LADY! and BLACK!!! (said in such an incredulous way) He's just so impressed with her! It's amazing how things are now!
*slap myself on the forehead*
-10 points for feminism and the civil rights movement
Quotable Quote of the Day - from the VA
Joe Veteran, obese, in wheelchair: That's gonna make you fat, you know...
Me: It's a DIET Coke. Zero calories.
Joe Veteran: Say, when are you girls going to graduate to be nurses?
(We all have on white coats that say School of Medicine)
Me: NEVER.
Austin: We'll be doctors in a year.
Female in elevator: Well, my husband is having surgery today and his surgeon is a LADY! and BLACK!!! (said in such an incredulous way) He's just so impressed with her! It's amazing how things are now!
*slap myself on the forehead*
-10 points for feminism and the civil rights movement
Monday, January 25, 2010
Oh, Dell
I'm not sure if many other med schools do this, but as a way to make things as *easy* and *stress-free* for us as possible (and possibly make a ton of profit)they peer-pressured us into buying these crappy Dell computers before our 1st year started. They only charged us $2500 though! what a steal! Ha.
They never point blank stated that we had to buy them, but made it sound tempting with promises of free tech support and whatnot. Well - it's a good thing, because I've needed every bit of it. My hard drive crashed during October 2008, after using the computer 1 year, and had to be replaced. Fast forward to 2010 and 2 weeks ago my computer got a terrible virus. I took it in last week. Here's the discussion that went down with our school's tech support today.
Me: "Hey, how's my computer doing? I haven't seen it in a week. Any progress?"
IT: "Yeah, you see what it's doing here... It's been stuck on that same screen since Friday. I think we're going to have to replace your hard drive. I'm going to have to call in a specialist from Dell."
Me: "Awesome. Well, I have a question for you... I have to put this program of practice questions on my computer that costs around $300 and my computer needs to be functional for at least 4 months so I don't lose it. Do you think I should put it on there once you get it fixed?"
IT Lady: "Hmmm... This isn't something you could backup on a disc is it?"
Me: "No, it's highly copyrighted. You can't copy/paste any of it."
IT Lady: "Yeah, you're better off putting that on your husband's computer. You only need this computer to last until next year though, right?"
Me: "Ugh, yeah, I guess?..."
IT Lady: "Good, good. You know, these laptops have actually held up pretty well!"
Oh mercy, y'all. This does not look reassuring. What if I went to do surgery on someone and said - Hey, you only need this colon to work for the next 4 months, right? Methinks I'd be getting sued for sure.
They never point blank stated that we had to buy them, but made it sound tempting with promises of free tech support and whatnot. Well - it's a good thing, because I've needed every bit of it. My hard drive crashed during October 2008, after using the computer 1 year, and had to be replaced. Fast forward to 2010 and 2 weeks ago my computer got a terrible virus. I took it in last week. Here's the discussion that went down with our school's tech support today.
Me: "Hey, how's my computer doing? I haven't seen it in a week. Any progress?"
IT: "Yeah, you see what it's doing here... It's been stuck on that same screen since Friday. I think we're going to have to replace your hard drive. I'm going to have to call in a specialist from Dell."
Me: "Awesome. Well, I have a question for you... I have to put this program of practice questions on my computer that costs around $300 and my computer needs to be functional for at least 4 months so I don't lose it. Do you think I should put it on there once you get it fixed?"
IT Lady: "Hmmm... This isn't something you could backup on a disc is it?"
Me: "No, it's highly copyrighted. You can't copy/paste any of it."
IT Lady: "Yeah, you're better off putting that on your husband's computer. You only need this computer to last until next year though, right?"
Me: "Ugh, yeah, I guess?..."
IT Lady: "Good, good. You know, these laptops have actually held up pretty well!"
Oh mercy, y'all. This does not look reassuring. What if I went to do surgery on someone and said - Hey, you only need this colon to work for the next 4 months, right? Methinks I'd be getting sued for sure.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Ah, Vets...
Favorite quote at the VA today - happened as a caretaker sat a vet down for lunch and basically screamed - "Stay there!":
"One is the loneliest number. Now I know how Jesus felt up on the cross."
"One is the loneliest number. Now I know how Jesus felt up on the cross."
Saturday, May 23, 2009
And Then I Told Him...
Actual quote from 3 minutes ago:
"You know Kris, the hard part of doing laundry isn't putting it in the fridge."
I was attempting to make a smart-butt remark about how the tedious part of the laundry process is the switchover and folding bit, not the initial loading of the washer. Instead I just looked like an idiot. STEP study is starting to wear on me.
"You know Kris, the hard part of doing laundry isn't putting it in the fridge."
I was attempting to make a smart-butt remark about how the tedious part of the laundry process is the switchover and folding bit, not the initial loading of the washer. Instead I just looked like an idiot. STEP study is starting to wear on me.
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